Episode 11: Light Someone's Candle

Updated: Jun 5, 2019

In this episode, we kick off the "Mentors, Marriage, Money" series with the first topic focusing on Mentors.

Mentoring (in theory) means "doing life together", getting into someone's space, encouraging, and passing on wisdom and truth. In the episode, we share a few exercises and tips to inspire your pursuit of finding a mentor or "mentees" (those to mentor). We hope you feel inspired!

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."1 Timothy 4:12

5 Key Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Mentor (Huffpost Article):

1. Do I look up to this person?

2. Could I work well with him/her?

3. Are they engaged in the community?

4. Can this person guide me towards my goals?

5. Are they happy/ joyful?

What to Expect from a Mentor (or Implement as a Mentor):

1. Be a good listener

2. Share own successes/failures

3. Help with decisions

4. Provide contacts/resources

5. Be friendly and unbiased

6. Give honest and constructive feedback

7. Be a soundboard for ideas

One additional question to ask yourself: Is your mentor/"mentee" available? It is going to be hard to achieve relational and growth goals if no time can be made to spend together, so asking this question up front is important. How do we find the time for mentoring in our busy lives? Intentionally prioritize someone who you will meet with as your mentor, and someone who you will meet with to mentor. Commit to and continue with the process!

What to Talk About? Set expectations up front. How often do you want to meet together? What ways do you want to communicate with one another and roughly how often? What are you hoping to get from your time together? Try starting off by going through a book together covering a topic or area you'd like to see growth in. Better yet, start reading the Bible together! After reading through the set book, you can always re-evaluate and decide that both parties want to continue meeting.

Remember Your Leaders. Encourage those who mentor you and those you mentor by reminding them that you value their friendship, wisdom, and encouragement. Be honest with them about what is and what is not working. Hebrews 13:7 reminds us to: "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. As you carefully observe the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith."

"The key to being a good mentor is to help people become more of who they already are, not to become more like you." -Suze Orman
"A true mentor wants to see you rise to the top and is willing to let you stand on their shoulders to get there."-Madison Hedlund
"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle."- James Keller

Action Steps:

1. Have you carefully observed someone who you'd like to learn from and imitate aspects of their lives? Is there anyone that comes to mind to potentially mentor if there is a need or desire from that person? Where can you create more space for this in your current life and schedule?

2. Reach out to those you have mentored or been mentored by in the past and thank/ encourage them today!

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